In A Galaxy Called Middle Earth
by N n' N
Summary: Large crossover! Two girls have high on sugar fun, and introduce the fellowship to strange magical forests, bra shopping in Moria, monopoly in Lorien, sing alongs and more! Full summary inside.
1. Chapter One: PG

**Summary**:After two girls get sucked into Middle Earth and meet the fellowship, along with a few others, they join the quest. From travelling through the mini mall of Moria, to playing monopoly in Lorien the new larger fellowship faces many interesting choices. But after the girls continually tell the hobbits that they are only remotely evil, is one truly evil or is it just a funky vegetable? Part One of Three.

**Authors' notes**: Two years of writing and finally, 'A Galaxy Called Middle-Earth' is finished. So stay tuned for the amazing adventures through Middle Earth. We've also decided to individually rate each chapter, so the one outside is just an average rating for the whole story. We also plan to make a website for the story with pictures and things, so hopefully that will be up and running soon! 

**Attention readers**: We appreciate all feedback however it is unlikely that we will be changing anything, since we have already finished the "Fellowship of the Ring" portion of the story.

Thank You, 

~Nicole and Vanessa

Please enjoy the story!

~*~*~

**In a Galaxy Called Middle-Earth**

**Chapter One:**

**Rating: PG**

Once upon a time, a very long way away on a mysterious planet at the farthest side of space, lived lots of interesting creatures... and stuff. On this planet were also quite a few screwed evil guys that were extremely obsessed with jewellery, especially rings. Well anyway, a fellowship was formed to destroy this one really, really bad ring. It consisted of four brave little hobbits, a wise, old wizard, a grumpy dwarf, two men; one was a soon to be king and the other was easily corrupted by want and temptation, and a damn sexy elf! So these nine guys set out on a journey, mission, quest... thing. They'd grown to be such friends that they felt they could not be separated from each other.

  
Once upon another time in a galaxy far, far, away, there was this really hot actor who played the young Obi-Wan Kenobi and this other hot actor teenager guy who played the young Anakin Skywalker and well ya! They pressed way too many buttons on the control panel of their 'flying machine' when they were partying because they won! Anyway, after getting so 'drunk' they kind of killed the 'flying machine'! Well they transported themselves to someplace 'eeevil'.

Meanwhile back in the Star Wars Galaxy the Evil Bad Guys were getting bored from killing the local wildlife. So they decided to find Obi-Wan and teenager Skywalker. They got transported as well.

  
Anyway, back to the two actor guys... They were wondering around close to their ship, when this girl, named Vanessa, appeared out of nowhere and began to run around Obi-Wan, screaming "tushy squeeze!" while squeezing his ass. Obi-Wan just stood there shocked, teenager Skywalker was so appalled by what this 'girl' had done that he started chasing her. Just when teenager Skywalker thought the force was with him, well just about to catch Vanessa, the tables turned... Vanessa was running after teenager Skywalker, around Obi-Wan. As Vanessa chased teenager Skywalker around the 'flying machine' she sang..."_all around the mulberry bush the monkey chases the weasel!_" 

Skywalker who was outraged screamed, "I'm not a weasel and you are NOT a monkey! Even if you were I would... *censored*!" Vanessa, who had stopped singing, stood there in 'awe'.   
  
~*~*~  
  


The fellowship had just left Rivendell, and was their way to the Misty Mountains. Finally the journey to destroy the really, really bad Ring had begun! Gandalf led the companions through all the different lands of Middle Earth. At first Aragorn was very annoyed at this, mumbling incoherently about how he should be in charge, he was supposed to be the king after all. But as time went by he realized he wouldn't really like the job anyway. So naturally he assumed the 'second-in-command' position, in the current 'willing-to-take-over-should-the-leader-die' status of the mission. Gimli grew grumpier by the day complaining about not being able to go through Moria and having to go over the freezing cold mountains. Legolas was annoyed at being called the 'map' by the 'jealous' hobbits. Merry and Pippin were hungry, Sam was well, cool and Frodo, to make a long story short, he seemed just a little too happy, considering where he was going. So all in all, they were a large group of complainers. Oh wait, wait, wait and Boromir was, um, giving Frodo many 'interesting' looks. Anyway they finally got somewhere, a forest…   
  
~*~*~  
  
           Obi-Wan snapped out of his shocked phase and went into the ship. He didn't know what he was looking for so he came back out, and apparently at the wrong time, because Vanessa had jumped up on the teenager Skywalker! Her legs were around his waist and her arms were around his neck.   
  
"Giddy up my strong little pony!" she screamed, trying not to fall in the mud. Obi-Wan didn't know what else to say or do but...  
  
"I need a drink!" Both of them looked at him then at each other, they both shrugged...   
  
"Ok!" they exclaimed in unison. They didn't really care because they were having fun. Him giving her a piggy-back-ride and her acting like a queen. Anyway Obi-Wan came back out of the 'flying machine' to see if anyone could open his tequila bottle. Skywalker tried but to no avail, Vanessa on the other hand, the weakling she is, opened it up like it was a bag-o-peanuts. Obi-Wan tried to get the bottle from her but she took it herself and poured it on the floor!   
  
"Alcohol is bad for you! I saw you in Trainspotting and that wasn't good at all..." He looked at her like she was mad...  
  
"Trainspotting?" The two actors were more confused than before!   
  
"Never mind! ...Nicole always says that's bad for you! Well not always… but she might!" Just then a girl stepped up beside Vanessa, who just so happened to be Nicole, shaking her head in disbelief!   
  
"How could you? Are you trying to kill yourself?" She stopped before continuing the lecture... looking at the teenager Skywalker with her mouth open.   
  
"OH MY GOD!" she pointed to him, "He's HOTTTT!"   
  
"Yeah... I know!" Vanessa agreed. Obi-Wan got up from crying over his 'spilt' Tequila and turned the girls.  
  
"Where are we, who are you, and what are we doing here?" the girls looked at the two hot actor guys, then the hot guys' 'flying machine', then the forest surrounding them, and then at each other.   
  
"Nicole... can you explain this please?"   
  
"Gladly...umm...well...umm..." * she went on for a minute then looked at Vanessa for help! Vanessa started saying, "um's" and "well's" too.   
  
"Umm... well... umm...AHHHH!" Vanessa screamed, and Nicole quickly joined in as well. The hot actor guys looked at each other and shrugged..."hmm". The girls then tried to 'magically snap' their way out of the forest but that didn't work.  
   
"I have an idea, Vanessa! Lets click our heels together and say 'there's no place like home'!"  
  
"Ok it worked for Judy Garland, so it might work for us!" The two girls looked at their shoes and said, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." Then they looked up… They were still in the forest.


	2. Chapter Two: PG

**Summary**:After two girls get sucked into Middle Earth and meet the fellowship, along with a few others, they join the quest. From travelling through the mini mall of Moria, to playing monopoly in Lorien the new larger fellowship faces many interesting choices. But after the girls continually tell the hobbits that they are only remotely evil, is one truly evil or is it just a funky vegetable? Part One of Three.

Thank You,   
~ Vanessa and Nicole  
Please enjoy the story!

~*~*~

**In a Galaxy Called Middle-Earth  
Chapter Two:  
Rating: PG  
**  
"ARGGG" the Vanessa and Nicole screamed and started running circles around the 'flying machine'. The two hot actor guys looked at each other and thought in unison... it would be fun to run too. So they chased the girls around the 'flying machine' until a big band of orcs came flying by. Suddenly Vanessa, who started the group run, stopped dead in her tracks. Followed by Nicole, who rammed into her so hard, they almost toppled over.  
  
"Those guys are UG-ER-LY!"   
  
"Hell ya!" Vanessa said, confirming Nicole's statement. The orc, that was in front of them then started to draw out his sword. Nicole looked at Vanessa, and vice versa. Then started screaming and running the other way. When they came around the 'flying machine', they bumped into the two hot actor guys. When the girls recovered from bumping into them, they noticed they were facing about half of the Orc Band. The two hot actor guys quickly pulled out their lightsabers and started decapitating anything that looked ugly! 

  
Vanessa had an idea..."NICOOOOOOOOOLEEEEEEEEE!" she shouted looking for her best friend. She found her; she was trying to run away from some more orcs that had come out from behind some trees.  
  
"AHHHHHH" Nicole cried for help, hoping it would be one of the hot actor guys but instead her short, brown haired friend came up behind the orc and shoved her Elijah Wood shoe up his ass! The orc screamed in pain and fell to the floor holding his buttocks.   
  
"Thanks" Nicole said sarcastically.   
  
"What did I do now?" Vanessa asked trying to wipe off the gunk that was all over her Elijah! "Pass some of those leaves over there... PWEASE?!? The ones I'm trying to use are already... gross... and wet!" Nicole picked up a bunch of leaves and handed them to her. "Thanks" she said sarcastically. Nicole was the one who questioned her now...  
  
"What did I do now?" Vanessa, satisfied on how her Elijah now looked, got up and smiled at her...  
  
"I know how to get back home!" Nicole looked at her with a WHAT-THE-HELL? -WE-CAN'T-GET-OUT-OF-HERE-LOOK (-WITHOUT WALKING). Anyway Vanessa told her the plan. Nicole screamed.  
  
"Ok lets try it... although I doubt it will work."   
  
"You have to think happy thoughts!"   
  
"Whatever!"   
  
"Arg! ... On the count of...one"... she started but was interrupted by a familiar voice crying out in pain...  
  
"HOLY...* CENSORED* IT BURNS!"   
  
"Its my boy... My poor boy!" Nicole started to walk over to the cry, but Vanessa stopped her...   
  
"Nun-un! He's mine... you can have that Obi-Wan guy!" Nicole pondered for a moment...  
  
"Ok... he is hot you know..."   
  
"Ooooook..."   
  
"Now let me rephrase that whole count of 'one'-" She was interrupted by the same cry only louder...  
  
"HOLY * CENSORED* I TOLD YOU IT BURNS!"   
  
"Vanessa...I think its you're turn to be to be scared for your 'preciousssssss'!"   
  
"Why thank you... " She said politely..."It's MY boy... MY boy!"   
  
The two girls walked back to the two hot actor guys. Obi-wan was trying to help teenager Skywalker. However there was a large group of strange looking… 'People' gathered around them.


	3. Chapter Three: PG

**Summary**:After two girls get sucked into Middle Earth and meet the fellowship, along with a few others, they join the quest. From travelling through the mini mall of Moria, to playing monopoly in Lorien the new larger fellowship faces many interesting choices. But after the girls continually tell the hobbits that they are only remotely evil, is one truly evil or is it just a funky vegetable? Part One of Three.

**Authors' notes**: Two years of writing and finally, 'A Galaxy Called Middle-Earth' is finished. So stay tuned for the amazing adventures through Middle Earth. We've also decided to individually rate each chapter, so the one outside is just an average rating for the whole story. We also plan to make a website for the story with pictures and things, so hopefully that will be up and running soon! 

**Attention readers**: We appreciate all feedback however it is unlikely that we will be changing anything, since we have already finished the "Fellowship of the Ring" portion of the story.

Thank You, 

~Nicole and Vanessa

Please enjoy the story!

**Chapter Three: PG**  
  
            "Get outta' my way people!" Vanessa said while pushing those people away, so she and Nicole were in the centre of the circle. There they saw teenager Skywalker with an arrow sticking out of his upper arm.  
            "Here, here… try this." Called one of the smaller men (it was Merry). Another small one pulled out a little bag of… stuff. He sprinkled some of the 'stuff' on teenager Skywalker's wound.   
            "Hey, it doesn't burn anymore!" exclaimed Anakin, just as Vanessa, and Nicole began hugging him very tightly.  
            "Pippin, Merry, what is that?" asked the eldest of the group.  
            "It's, well a bag of magic… shit." Then a completely different small guy asked,  
            "Pippin, why didn't you use that when I got stabbed?" Merry answered this one.  
            "We…forgot."   
            "Duh!" Pippin added. Frodo (the one who asked) was outraged.   
            "ARRRRG!" he was now chasing Pippin around the 'flying machine', Merry was next and then Sam, who felt left out… joined the run, coming around in the back. One guy with pointy ears, blonde hair, and blue eyes walked up to the 'flying machine', where Frodo was on top of Pippin, and trying to strangle him. Sam, farther off to the side, sat happily on top of Merry, waiting for his master to 'kill' him too. The blonde guy came up to Frodo and dragged him off Pippin. Frodo, however, was not going to give up so easily and continued kicking and screaming, while trying to break free of his 'capturer'. Sam remained seated on Merry and began to prepare a lunch of tomatoes, sausages and nice crispy bacon.  
            "You know what Merry," started Sam "You make a nice seat!"  
            "You're hurting me! You're a fat hobbit Sam." Merry whined. "But those tomatoes look so good, pass me some." Sam did and they both sat eating, of course Sam was still on top of Merry. Gandalf, the old wizard guy, had struck up a conversation with the two Jedi's. He was mainly apologizing for the direction, the blonde, Legolas' arrow, had taken. The two men (Aragorn and Boromir) were busily inspecting the 'flying machine'. All the while Vanessa and Nicole had gone after Legolas and Frodo. Legolas carried Frodo into the forest, he knew the two girls were coming after them, but he didn't know what they were carrying. A stick. But not just a regular stick… a magic stick! It wielded powers that only one man could comprehend… well maybe two… but that's it!!!  

~*~*~  
            The bad evil guys (from Star Wars) landed in Mount Doom…IN it, actually!  After they finished burning their asses…badly, they wandered around until they found an ugly old white guy surrounded by even uglier, yet shorter…things (which were really orcs….)   
            "Have you news of the fellowship, newcomers?" asked the white guy.  
            "We know nothing of any fellowship. We are looking for Jedi's; they have long glowing sticks… I mean swords."  
            "Why is that?"   
            "Because they can hurt me, and well, I'm trying to take over the WORLD!!!!!!"  
            "Oh cool, me too! See I need this ring, but the fellowship, that I mentioned, has it."  
            "Ah, that sucks. Maybe we should join together then."  
            "That's a funky idea! Let's do it. By the way I'm Sugarman (the wizard formerly known as Saruman) the white."  
            "Well, I'm basically known as the Emperor, so just call me Empi, all my friends do. And this is Darth Tyranus!"  
            "Right…"

~*~*~  
            "So let me get this straight, there's two men, and elf, a dwarf, four hobbits and you, and you're a wizard, right?" confirmed Obi-Wan, after what seemed like an hour explanation.  
            "Yup, that's right, but I prefer Istari to wizard. It's so much more… exotic!" added Gandalf gleefully.  
            "Yeah, uh-huh…"   
            As Boromir continued snooping around the 'flying machine' he noticed the potential of its power, if only he could wield it. Just then Anakin came up to him.  
            "What are you doing, sir?" he asked the suspicious-looking man.  
            "It is funny we should go through so much trouble over something so little,"  
            "But it's huge!"  
            "If you but lent it to me,"  
            "Why?"  
            "I only ask for the power to defend my people!"  
            "But, but it's a *CENSORED* 'flying machine'!!!!"  
            "Hmmm, a 'flying machine' you say. Then could we not fly to Mount Doom to destroy the ring?"  
            "Well, first of all, it's busted and second of all it would ruin the story, not to mention shorten the length of it!"  
            "True, true. So, that's a no, then. Humph."  
            Meanwhile Gimli and Aragorn spoke in private about the two Jedi's and the two, shall we say, eccentric girls.   
            Legolas put Frodo down, but still held on to his jacket…cloak…thing. Legolas was about to give Frodo the 'lecture' on how to act in front of new people and that it's a bad idea to kill members of the same 'team', when he heard a distant chant... (Think the survivor theme…)  
            "Eh, e oh e oh e oh e ohHhHh…" the girls came into view singing and dancing, while Vanessa was holding on to a familiar looking stick…! All of a sudden that light that glowed on the top of the stick went out. The two girls stopped singing and dancing and stared at it.  
            "I think the tribe has spoken, Vanessa, goodbye!" Vanessa looked sad and then saw the two guys looking at them like they were mad!  
            "Hey, that's Gandalf's!" shouted Frodo, breaking free from the stunned elf.  
            "Stay back, you hot hobbit! Or this mighty staff will blast you to Timbuktu!" cried Nicole pointing the staff at him. Frodo stopped dead in his tracks, raising his hands up in defeat. He'd seen Gandalf's staff at work before, though he wasn't sure what or where Timbuktu was, he didn't really want to find out. The two girls walked over to them with the staff still pointed towards Frodo and Legolas.   
            "Who are you evil people, and do you want with us?" cried Frodo, petrified. Nicole and Vanessa look at each other stunned then back at Frodo Legolas!   
            "Us... evil..." they said spontaneously giving the hobbit and elf a sheepish smile.  
            "We're not really evil..." Nicole started.  
            "Just remotely!" Vanessa added while Nicole agreed by nodding her head.  
            "Then why are you with us instead of the Evil Bad Guys?" asked Legolas. (Ok, ok, it was more like this...) "Then why are you with us instead of the Evil Bad Guys?"   
            "Well, because you guys are... hotter. Also that Mount Doom place is just too hot and we're not THAT evil."  
            "Just a little 'itty bitty bit!"  
            "OH... Well then how did you get here, or did you come with those other actor guys?" Frodo became curious to know more about them.   
            "No, we didn't with them. You see it all started..."

~*~*~*~FLASHBACK~*~*~*~

             Vanessa and Nicole sat side by side at their usual lunch table in the school cafe. They were eating mounds of carrots, oranges and extra buttered popcorn, while drinking 7up and Pepsi. Their other friend, Sarah (#2), was playing with 'Bob the tomato' and the Trix bunny. The tomato smelt the rabbit's crotch, while saying "Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!" (Yes, this actually did happen... and you thought we were screwed!) 

End.

"What are tricks and why can't the rabbit have any? If I wanted tricks, the kids would give them to me!" interrupted Frodo. The girls gave, him an annoyed (and disgusted) look, ignoring his question. They were about to continue the story, but they were interrupted again. However, it wasn't by the over inquisitive hobbit, but by Pippin. He had been instructed by Gandalf to look for his staff.  
            "Gandalf wants his stic-, I mean, staff back." Frodo took no notice of Pippin's statement, and commenced chasing him...again! Legolas made a distinct 'humph' and sauntered after them. The girls skipped back singing   
            "Eh e o e o e o eh A A eh e o e A A....", as the staff started glowing again, in Nicole's hand.  
  



	4. Chapter Four: PG

**Chapter Four PG**  
  
            When they reached the group, Frodo was no longer chasing after Pippin... they were hugging, Sam was still sitting on Merry, and the rest of the gang were leaning on the 'flying machine'. As the girls approached the 'flying machine' Skywalker asked if they were all right. However Gandalf had interrupted him by giving the girls the lecture on taking things? Nicole and Vanessa looked at each other. Vanessa and said...  
            "Roll your eyes with me" while looking at Nicole   
            "ROLLING" was the only thing they said before breaking out into a bunch of laughter. After what seamed like… minutes the girls wiped the tears from their eyes and noticed that everyone was looking at them. Frodo and Legolas approached Aragorn telling them the story that the over energetic girls told them... Aragorn then walked up to the girls and asked them   
            "How did you get here?"   
            Everyone (including Obi-Wan and Skywalker) walked up and sat in a circle facing the girls so they could hear the story... The girls started at the beginning..  
            "It all started on December 30th. That was the first time I watched LotR: the fellowship of the ring."  
            "It was my second time seeing it!" added Vanessa.  
            "Anyway," Nicole tried to begin again, but Gimli interrupted..."So you saw us?"  
            "Yes, well... only the first part of the trilogy!"   
            "There's more???" asked the inquisitive dwarf.   
            "Yes there was, and we've seen it as well!" Gandalf thinking he was the only superior in the group started saying,  
            "You know our future, will you plea-" but that was all he got out because Nicole and Vanessa got furious.

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT US OR NOT?" Vanessa screamed before giving a quick look at Skywalker who was beside her! "Well after the saw the movie we went back to my house to watch more movies, (with HOT guys of course), eat extra buttery popcorn non-stop, AND look for pics of actors on the Internet! So, Nicole brought Star Wars Ep.1 and we got really giddy while trying to freeze frame Ewan McGregor's ASS during the movie" The others looked at each other trying to figure out who this Ewan guy was. The two girls paused and had a mental picture..."YUMMY" the girls said trying NOT to get any drool over their kilts. When Vanessa recovered she continued.   
            "Well that's where it all started!"  

"Next thing you know, two years and two movies later we were obsessed."  
            "So, we went on web sites looking for pictures and more information... you could say we were hooked! Well one day we were on the Internet we found this site and you could read and post Fanfiction. We were-"  
            "OH NOOOOOO NOT FANFICTION!" Boromir interrupted by now he was hugging his knees rocking back and forth and so on... with this look of a 'deer in head lights' Merry and Pippin looked at each other then at the scared 'deer in head lights' Boromir and NEEDED to find out what this Fanfiction was, asked ... (to no one in particular)...  
            "What is this Fanfiction everyone is speaking of?" Boromir started in a shaky voice...  
            "Fanfiction is where people, who are obsessed with something, can make up stories and use the characters as their play toys and make them do whatever they want whenever they want!" All the men screamed hideous cries of horror.  
            "Maybe now's a bad idea to tell them were writing one about them!" Vanessa whispered to Nicole.   
            "Yeah I agree!" Nicole added. The girls tried to calm them down and after 10 minutes to trying they succeeded, then continued on with their story.    
            "A couple of weeks after we watched the last movie, we were in school and well... we got so bored from listening to our music teacher, shoving his baton up his nose, we started writing notes to each other and well..." Vanessa trailed off, then Nicole started off the rest of the explanation.   
            "Well I wished I could be IN Middle-Earth and with the Fellowship an-"   
            "And I wished I could meet Obi-Wan and Anakin." Vanessa added.   
            "And that's how you came here!" interrupted Obi-Wan.   
            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the girls in annoyance.   
            "IF YOU WANT US TO TELL YOU THE STORY THEN YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET!"  
            "And save your questions to the end! OH MY GOD I just sounded like Ms. Burton!"  
            "EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" The girls cried in unison while making disgusted faces.  
            "Please, continue girls" Gandalf commanded.  
            "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT already!" Nicole then tried to finish the story.  
            "Well at lunch we had the usual! Oranges, carrots, popcorn, 7up and Pepsi."  
            "Oh, don't forget smarties!" Vanessa added.   
            "Oh ya, I forgot about that. Thanks. Well we continued telling each other about how 'cool' it would be if we could meet you guys or get transported or something like that, and what we would do... and stuff."  
            "But we forgot about the time and well we had to get to class, so we took the teacher's elevator instead of walking up three flights of stairs!" Vanessa was explaining, when Nicole who was too excited to wait her turn jumped in.  
            "And we got stuck in the elevator..."

* * *

 Meanwhile back on Earth (not the middle one)... 

            "Mr. Christie, I thought I told you students weren't allowed the elevator under any circumstances!" cried the principal, Mr.. Wisdicki.  
            "I didn't put 'em in there!!!"

            "I heard shouts, so ya know, you were the closest! Principal-ness can really make ya lazy."  
            "Well why don't you tell everyone (on the P.A. system) you're turning the elevator power off. Then YOU can think up a plan to get them back!"  
            (On P.A. system)" NOBODY USE THE DAMN ELEVATOR, ITS BUSTED! That is all. Because you are the weakest link, goodbye." (P.A. System off)  
            "I've always wanted to say that... I should do that more often. Now, to the plan..."


	5. Chapter Five: PG

**Chapter Five: PG**

Middle-Earth

            "... Then we looked behind us and saw something glowing underneath the protective padding, so we grabbed our bags and went into the light. And then we ended up in a mysterious land..."  
            "And since I had three cans of 7up, I had to go peeeeeeeeeee REALLLLY REALLLY BADLLLY!!! So I wandered off to look for a nice place to 'go', while Nicole stayed with our stuff! Then that's when I found you!"  
            "Why did you squeeze MY butt?!?" asked Obi-Wan. Vanessa blushed while the whole fellowship, Nicole AND Skywalker looked at her.  
            "Well... you're... so... squeezable and well... HOTTTT like HELL." Obi-Wan went into a shocked daze, just like before. Nicole tried to keep a straight face, and just barely succeeded.  
            "Anywayz I heard Vanessa screaming and I followed it, and heard her talking about alcohol, um... and well that's all you need to know." 

Obi-Wan got up and started to head back to the 'flying machine'. "I need a drink." Vanessa, Nicole and Skywalker ran after him,  
            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... etc. (etc. etc.)"  Nicole started to quote her wisdom.   
            "Alcohol is bad for yo-" was all she got out, when the orc, that Vanessa had supposedly hurt, (when her Elijah was up his ass) stood up and started to charge them. Legolas brought an arrow to his bow and let it fly and hit him where the sun did not shine. All the guys that were sitting crossed their legs. Vanessa ran to Obi-Wan, who hugged Nicole in his arms, and Vanessa to Skywalker who cradled her in his. The four walked back to the group and sat down. Legolas and Frodo looked so jealous ("awwwwwwwwwwww elf boy and hobbit man are jealous!")   
            "Hey I'm not a boy! I'm 2931 years old!" (*Writers look at each other...'humph' oh well*)  
            Gandalf knew these woods better than anyone. He would never leave people who didn't know the area alone in them, they WERE orc infested (as you know...).  
            "Why don't you join us on our quest?"   
            "Really?" Nicole looked up from the cradling arms of Obi-Wan.  
            "Oh yeah, you already know about our mission so...so... you could help!" Legolas jumped in literally.  
            "I'm sorry we don't know your task...quest...destiny...thing! (or thang!)"Obi-Wan asked.  
            "Well then you can't come!" added Frodo teasingly. Sam hit him on the head.  
            "That's very mean Mr. Frodo... tomatoes?" Sam offered him some and Frodo took it gladly.   
            "This won't pay for how much it hurts, BUT it'll just have to do... fooooor nowwwwwwww! (dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnn)"  
            "How did you come here anyway?" Vanessa questioned Skywalker...  
            "We were getting drunk and well... I fell back on the control panel...spilling my drink on it, so...we went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Breath) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Breath) aaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Breath) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay *gasp, gasp* off course." Obi-Wan dropped Nicole and went over to Skywalker...  
            "WHY YOU LITTLE...!" Obi-Wan started to 'ring' his neck (think Bart and Homer Simpson). The only noise Skywalker could make was...  
            "ARGCHERCH *gurgle* POOPIE *gurgle* ARGCHERCH!" Nicole and Vanessa pried Obi-Wan's hands off of Skywalker, while the others talked. Obi-Wan was getting a lecture on how 'wude' it was to try and strangle 'his' student. While Vanessa cradled Skywalker, Legolas and Frodo looked in jealousy. Aragorn went back to the four who were in the same general direction as the 'flying machine'.  
            "We would be honoured if you would join us! I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; this is Gandalf the grey, our leader, Legolas son of Thranduil, Boromir son of Denethor, Gimli son of Groin (oops we mean Gloin) and of course the hobbits. Meridoc Brandybuck (Merry), Peregrin Took (Pippin), Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins." Everyone looked up and/or waved hello, at their name.  
            "Well I'm Vanessa an-"  
            "And I'm Nicole."  
            "I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is 'my' (TEENAGER) apprentice, Anakin Skywalker."  
            "I'm 19!!!!!!" The girls laughed at this.         

"So you're going to defy the natural written 'LAW' of J.R.R. Tolken and have a fellowship of 13?!" Nicole wondered/asked.  
            "OH *CENSORED* WE FORGOT OUR BOOKS, in the forest somewhere. IT HAS MY... STUFF in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
            "YA mine TOO!!" Nicole added as the girls looked all innocent and batted their eyelashes, flirting shamelessly... So everyone went off in search of their 'stuff' which they called 'backpacks'. 


	6. Chapter Six: PG

**Chapter Six: PG**

**  
** The fellowship searched many hours for the girls' things.   
"What so important that we have to search for so long… for?" asked a rather tired Sam.  
"Well it has my envelpoe in it!" started Vanessa. (Envelpoe is OUR spelling on how to write envelope and yes it will have more importance later)  
"And well our Lord of the Rings series,"   
"As well as our fa-" Vanessa couldn't continue because Nicole slapped her hand over her mouth. Nicole then whispered in Vanessa's ear.   
"Ex-nay on the fan-ic ay!"  
"Oh right sorry!" Finally after four hours of searching they found their bags right under a bush, that Merry happened to be sitting beside.  
"Merry! ARG!" Nicole yelled, she was becoming really pissed with this particular hobbit.  
"Huh? What? Who? FOOD!" Merry was distracted and started to the smell of food.  
"Merry… fool!" said Gandalf, starting to follow in the direction Merry, Pippin and Sam had run off in.  
"What's so great about this envel… envelope?" asked Gimli.  
"Oh… our envelope it's different then the envelpoe, but our envelope…it… um… it has pictures in it… of the movie about… you guys." Replied Vanessa rather sheepishly.  
"WHAT!?!?" All of them stopped, including those who'd run off, who were now running back, at the mention of 'movie' and 'you'.  
"Let me see!" Pippin grabbed the envelope and opened the flap. Merry then grabbed the contents and ran around Aragorn singing "I'se gots it! I'se gots it!" ova' and ova' again 'til da writa' goils realized dat dey was writin' in newsies toik! Oops… so den dey thought 'bout 'avin some newsies in heah and dats whats gonna 'appen! (But we won't talk like this anymore wipes brow on sleeve)

**New York 1900**

The Manhattan and the Brooklyn newsies were in a fight against the Bronx. The reason… they didn't even know. Both our favourite leaders stood on opposite sides of the docks (where they were fighting) and tried to look for any signs of defeat on either side. Jack watched as his newsies and friends got punched, kicked, bashed, smashed, lashed… well it didn't look too good. He remembered just a year ago how they had won the strike against Pulitzer. He watched as Spot, the Brooklyn newsie leader punched a Bronx leader in the eye. Spot looked over at Jack and gave a worried smile. Jack looked away trying to see if anyone else needed some help. Spot, on the other hand was not free to help anyone, because he was currently surrounded by three Bronx newsies. He backed away and came back to back with Racetrack the amazing, gambling, cigar smoking, Italian newsie.  
"Hiya Race! How's our boys doin'?"  
"A, Spot? Now's now not a good time to toik! I'se got two 'a dem on me ans my cigar is almost out! I'se stressed!"  
"Hey! We'se need humour! We'se beat!" Just then one of the three newsies on Spot knocked him into a bunch of crate. Race was startled because one the toughest newsies all around got hit by one of the Bronx'! THE BRONX! He quickly back to reality, when the other two newsies that had been on Spot turned towards him. 'Oh great… four! FOUR! I can't even get one!' he took his cigar and threw it at one of their faces. Two of them went for his arms and held him down, as the third got ready to take him out cold.  
Spot tried to get up out of the broken crates, but the other newsie kept coming! 'Oh great! Where are da bulls when you'se need 'em? Wait! But den I'se would get caught-" his thought was interrupted by a punch to his chin, knocking him up into the air and then flat on his back. BLACKNESS!  
Race had worse when he was at the rally/riot last year, but this hurt. Three guys were enough! He tried to squirm out of the hard grasp but that just made them tighten it. He couldn't take it anymore, one more hit and he'd be out. The guys dropped him, making him fall to his knees. One newsies kicked him in the side. 'Oiy, ouch!' Also BLACKNESS! They threw him by Spot and left the two, unconscious.  
When the guys woke up they were in a MAGICAL forest.


	7. Chapter Seven: PG

**Chapter Seven**  
  
"I'se gots it! I'se gots it!" Merry was still running around Aragorn. The ground was now nearly a 3 feet deep, because of the fat, prancing hobbit that kept running around in circles!  
"MERRY! Stop NOWWWW!" Vanessa screamed with her face turning red and blue and purple (oops… got carried away), from lack of air. Merry stopped dead in his tracks, almost throwing the pictures up into the air.  
"Merry, you stupid ape!" interrupted Vanessa as Nicole gasped.   
"Ya, you're such a misfit! You're like penguins in Germany!"  
"What's Germany? Is a penguin a type of food?" asked Merry only catching every other word.  
"Well actually… wait! Merry gimmie those!" Vanessa yelled snatching the pictures. Skywalker attempted to comfort the girls, by putting an arm around both of them, but the girls turned and literally turned into human-rottweilers, and began growling loudly. He raised his hands in defeat and slowly walked backward trying not to make any sudden movements. Once he reached Obi-Wan he tried to hide behind him but hid foot banged into something and tumbled over it. He let a 'yelp' out as he fell. The girls snapped out of their human-canine phase and turned to see three guys all tangled together in a bundle on the floor. From the impact the two 'boys' woke with a start and looked at their surroundings.  
"Oh my goodness! Are you alright?"  
"Here let me help you!" the two girls walked over to the human pretzel, and left Skywalker for Obi-Wan to help up. The two girls helped up the tattered and torn 'boys'.  
"Are you ok?" started Vanessa. "Here let me clean that for you!"  
"Yeah I'm ok! Ah, where are we'se?" asked the blonde.  
"Oh, umm… in some MAGICAL forest in Middle-Earth!" replied Vanessa dusting off his…cough… hat. Nicole helped the other boy up by putting an arm around his shoulders. Both the boys flinched.  
"Hey Lego get me some water!" ordered Vanessa. Legolas started walking in the direction of a stream. The girls followed carrying the injured boys. As they walked they informed them of the whole ring… thing.  
"Ok so lemme get dis straight. We'se got ta help ya by destroyin' dis ring?" questioned the blonde after a very long and confusing explanation.  
"Sounds about right." Answered Vanessa, as the other carried on a conversation on with Nicole, about gambling.  
"So, do you'se know how ta play a pokah?"  
"No, but I will if you teach me." replied Nicole shyly. Since both couples were in deep conversation they didn't see themselves getting sidetracked, walking farther and farther away from the party.  
"Uh, Nicole… where'd Lego and the others go?"  
"Um, I really don't know. Do you have a map?"  
"Oh sure I can use in one of our Lord of the Rings books… BUT WAIT we don't even know what forest we're in! Oh I know, we'll just look at the giant neon coloured sign that says 'you are here' and points to a map of Middle earth!"  
The blonde leaned over to the other and whispered. "She 'as quite da tempah, sounds like my kinda goil!"  
"Naw not mines. I'se like da quiet ones!" The blonde just shrugged and walked over to the 'over-excited' girl.  
"So…" he started trying to figure out their names.  
"Vanessa."  
"And that would make you…"  
"Nicole." Then the 'other guy' spoke up first. "I'm Racetrack, and dis is-"  
"Spot Conlon at your soivice!" He said taking Vanessa's hand and kissing it. She giggled. Racetrack did the same to Nicole.  
"What were you guys doing that made you all beaten up and looking like… well, shit?"  
"We'se were in a fight wit da Bronx."  
"Oh."  
"Hey do you hear something? It sounds like water."


End file.
